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Friday, Jul 5, 2002
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Issue #552 :: Friday, July 5, 2002

Top Headlines

A Drug-Free Berkeley
Drugs have always been a problem on college campuses. Smoking marijuana is like a rite of passage you undertake when arriving at college.

Two Local Schools Declared Substandard
The Department of Education listed two Berkeley elementary schools among the nation's lowest performing schools this week.

Joy Division

Self-inflicted hanging defuses suicide's potency as a critical gesture. Sucide, in relation to the social fabric ("Good-bye, World"), already borders on melodramatic posturing. Suicide's fundamental premises, self-absorption and egocentrism, are amplified to such extreme limits in the case of hanging that they overwhelm the survivors beyond sympathetic insult. Or, perhaps it's merely the most convenient means of completing the deed?

Campus Union Calls For Cheaper, More Accessible Parking
A union representing lower income UC Berkeley employees called for better parking benefits Tuesday, in response to the university's plan to increase campus parking rates.

News

Reporter's Notebook: Student Reporter Paralyzes Union Negotiations
Anyone who has ever received "the silent treatment" can appreciate trying to cover negotiations between the university and the union representing lower-wage UC workers.

Task Force Looks At Environment On Global Level
Environmental professionals from 25 different countries, described as "a little United Nations," worked to save the world's natural resources in a three week certification program at UC Berkeley.

Business School Degree Not So Marketable, Stanford Report Says
An MBA may be nothing more than an expensive piece of paper-at least according to a new Stanford University study.

Study Finds Sharing Beds Makes For Healthier Babies
An eager couple walked into the Alta Bates Summit Medical Center in Berkeley Tuesday morning to find their triplet girls holding hands and cuddling.

Campus Union Calls For Cheaper, More Accessible Parking
A union representing lower income UC Berkeley employees called for better parking benefits Tuesday, in response to the university's plan to increase campus parking rates.

Two Local Schools Declared Substandard
The Department of Education listed two Berkeley elementary schools among the nation's lowest performing schools this week.


Arts & Entertainment

Learn 'The Fast Runner'
Walking into the conditioned air of Landmark's Fine Arts Theatre wearing my pre-shrunk cotton t-shirt, steam-pressed polyester hybrid pants, and socks hemmed with an especially elastic lycra stitching, it was no surprise that I felt continents and centuries removed from the scenes of people wearing walrus hides and caribou furs huddling in igloos around three meager flames fueled by droplets of seal oil.

Big Girls with Big Heads make Big Hits
Don't rush to see "Notorious C.H.O." if you have a stick up your ass. Unless, of course, you're a stickler for colon therapy, or a spelunker in the ass chasm. And don't bring a first date. Unless, of course, you're on a date with the ass-bandit and s/he is revving up to ride your caboose when the lights go down. And don't drink too much soda or Cabana Boy Rum before you go in the theater, unless you've seriously weighed the pros and the cons, deciding that ten second's warmth might be worth the wet if it means you catch every ass joke.

Big Girls with Big Heads make Big Hits
Okay, so I knew this girl who was a sorority girl, a Tri-Delt no less, who was at some Cloyne party and somehow had a shameful uncomfortable epiphany about life and love and sex and wound up making it with a Squelch boy in the bathroom.

Joy Division

Self-inflicted hanging defuses suicide's potency as a critical gesture. Sucide, in relation to the social fabric ("Good-bye, World"), already borders on melodramatic posturing. Suicide's fundamental premises, self-absorption and egocentrism, are amplified to such extreme limits in the case of hanging that they overwhelm the survivors beyond sympathetic insult. Or, perhaps it's merely the most convenient means of completing the deed?

Slot-Market Memoirs, Cramer's 'Confessions"
My job is to monitor business news, and what I'm learning makes me glad I don't own stock right now. Every day major companies confess to histories of financial accounting improprieties; beyond front-page stories about Enron and MCI/WorldCom, the business section tells of dozens of major companies being investigated by the SEC, and with this increased scrutiny, more billion dollar "accounting errors" are bound to surface.

Music Review: Vincent Gallo


Music Review: Various Artists


Music Review: The Streets


Music Review: N.O.R.E.


Music Review: DJ Off-Beat



Opinion

A Drug-Free Berkeley
Drugs have always been a problem on college campuses. Smoking marijuana is like a rite of passage you undertake when arriving at college.

White Space