Whine Cellar: Cal Men's Soccer Looking Cavalieresque

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Welcome to the Whine Cellar, If-I'm-Mailing-It-In-Blame-All-These-Interviews Edition. We in the Cellar are very happy to note that after George's article in this space yesterday, the words "Blow Me" are now allowed in sections besides "Sex on Tuesday."

The First Word: As an erstwhile University of Virginia graduate, I love men's soccer. Went to the Final Four twice and remember as if it were yesterday-an October day seven years ago when we filled the stadium for a game against James Madison. I woke up at all times of the morning to watch the World Cup.

So, as a men's soccer fan, I am informing you that it is now officially time to get excited about the Cal team. The Bears are finding weird and wonderful ways to win-5-0 over the 18th-ranked team followed by a golden goal over an unranked foe. The two most exciting players are a sophomore and a freshman. And, as we learned last week from the media guide, Mike Munoz is still an "outstanding soccer player."

This Friday Cal will probably win its ninth straight and set a school record. Jump that bandwagon!

Plus, You've Got Head Coach Kevin Grimes: Or Grimey, as he likes to be called by his friends, who taught us that a man can triumph over adversity.

It's Not Quite Tim McCarver's Insistence on Calling Mark Ellis "Mark Little," but It's Annoying Nonetheless: That fine color commentator on Fox Sports Net for the USC game who kept referring to Jemeel Powell as "Jamelle Holieway."

And Yes, Order NOW!!: Maybe that color commentator wants a Holieway 1985 Oklahoma autographed picture-Very Hard to Find!!-only $29.95 at Yahoo! Shops!

That's Why They Call It U$C: I did like the referee's pretty red shoes on Saturday. The Kareem Kelly touchdown was obviously silly. But how about at 27-21 my boy Jonny Mak getting creamed about a minute early, the ball hitting the USC linebacker in the back as he was tackling Makonnen, and the interception going through without so much as a whistle or flag? Or, to be sure, a peep from either commentator who were ostensibly too busy looking for Jamelle Holieway memorabilia?

Personally, the Scariest Part of the Football Team's Unexpected Success: Third Saturday in October 2001: went to Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk; third Saturday in October 2002: disappointed that I have to be at a beach in Fort Myers, Florida, so will be glued to TBS wherever I am.

Regardless of the Bears' Efforts, Nothing Will Make Me Happier Saturday Than This: Air Force 34, Notre Dame 20.

Meanwhile, the Cellar's Favorite Team Just Keeps Chuggin': Our beloved women's volleyballers took out No. 19 Arizona in three straight on Saturday. Mia Jerkov had a nice weekend in the, uh, Sun Devil State, recording 54 kills.

For Once, The Pronunciation Guide in the Media Guide Comes Up Big: Stop laughing. It's YAIR-cove.

And Back By Popular Demand-IM Softball Results: My wacky band of misfits won 18-5. Our favorite not-too-sure-of-the-rules umpire called a ball that was bouncing in foul territory fair, I believe, because the third baseman fielded it.

For Those of You Wondering What Happened to Jamal Anderson's Career, Fear Not, Because He's Found His Niche: The former Falcon was on ESPN, hosting the "Jam Session," asking Tony Gonzalez incisive brain-busters like "J.Lo or Shakira?"

Sure, He's Everything an Athlete Shouldn't Be, But You've Gotta Admit: Terrell Owens is pretty damned funny.

And Finally, Say What You Will About Barry's Long Quest to Make The Series: I would have preferred Kannon Kile.


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