No Matter the Sport, You Can't Win at Memorial

Respond to Dan at [email protected].

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Ladies and gents, gather around, and welcome to the final installment of the Whine Cellar for the spring semester of 2002. I got a new contributor to the Cellar for this week's edition, so if you don't like me, read on, because you may love the legend known only as T-Rock.

The First Word: I was happy to see the Cal rugby team win its 12th straight national championship this past weekend.

I spent my weekend, however, watching the Cal women's lacrosse team getting soundly defeated by Stanford in the Mountain Pacific Lacrosse League final. I then had the Stanford coach admit to me the reason she could recruit the top talent was because the Cardinal athletic department was willing to spend the mo, er, I mean, make the commitment to having a top program.

It's too bad that a group of class acts like Jill Malko and those student-athletes aren't given the best chance to succeed. But that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.

But hey, I'm glad Monday's paper pointed out that we are spending the money in good places: Like that squirrel fishing club.

Don't worry, Stanford doesn't just have the money: After the Cardinal was awarded something like nine of the game's first 11 penalties, Cal senior Sarah Wheatley noted they sure were good at, uh, luring us into fouls.

What Wheatley meant to say: I didn't know you could recruit officials too.

And the game was at Memorial Stadium, which reminds me: Correct me if I'm wrong, coach Tedford, but it must be cool to recruit to the only Division I-A football stadium where the surrounding residents won't let you get lights. Because who wants to play on ESPN anyway?

That's enough bile. Welcome our special guest-with "T-Rock's Blasts": I saw they added three more college football bowl games, for a total of 28. At least it makes for one helluva winter pool. Maybe they'll start letting in 1-10 teams. (Note from Dan: I swear I didn't write this!). I saw Ruben Rivera got signed the other day-is he the "steal" of the year in your fantasy league? . . . Fearless prediction-USA makes it big in the World Cup at the end of the month. Bruce Arena has been a winner everywhere he's been.

I'm back-what did I tell you about Chris Webber? According to the CBS SportsLine play-by-play from Monday night, here are the last 5 and a half minutes of the Kings loss: missed jump shot, missed layup, missed layup, missed layup. But at least he didn't foul out.

When people need to drum up hate for this country's amount of leisure time, you just know they're reading headlines like this: Cuban Vows Cowbell Retaliation.

Now that their team has won their last 400 playoff games, something amazing has happened: Laker fans have actually become more arrogant than Yankee fans.

Only one more hill to climb!: Cameron Crazies.

So that's why he gets hurt every year-the driveway's dangerous: Brian Griese received seven stitches after falling down in Terrell Davis' driveway at a party.

It took me getting to the Bay Area to realize what everyone knew all along: Everyone, and I mean everyone, loves Mike Ricci.

The Olympics brought us that brand of exciting hockey, but now we know the secret for the NHL: Ban the neutral-zone trap. Failing that, let the Sharks and Avalanche play a best-of-13 for the right to play Detroit for the Cup.

Another sign pitching ain't what it used to be: The following people all have at least eight home runs: Jay Gibbons, Tony Batista, and Juan Encarnacion.

What those guys were doing last year at this time: Minors, Waived, Not Good Enough to Start for the Tigers.

And finally, a thank you to my dear readers: All four of you. And T-Rock.


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