Moseley is Better than a Day with Gray

E-mail Dan Hodes at [email protected]

Dan Hodes

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Twas a good week in the Cellar. The hate mail has slowed considerably. The proud New Jerseyan in me has watched the Nets stay alive in the playoffs. And some star hoops recruit actually turned down Kansas to go to my undergrad alma mater, Virginia. Speaking of UVA:

The First Word: When I graduated, my commencement speaker was Governor Jim Gilmore. He was fine, but I think it would've been pretty darned cool to have an Olympic Gold medalist speak at the ceremony.

Yet apparently few agree with me, as I see these omnipresent "Who's Jonny Moseley?" signs around campus. To those people, I say that I can't imagine you'd want Gray Davis speaking at your graduation-although I hear Gray does throw a phat dinner roll. In other words . . . build a bridge, folks. And get over it.

Oh, and for those of you scoring at home: That's Jonny Moseley, one gold medal, Michelle . . . aw, never mind.

Little Sports Thrills:'s Bill Simmons notes the great moment that always occurs when you hear a name like Marcus Giles-you know he must be an African-American. (The Braves second baseman is not.) Well, when looking for some way to recognize All-Pac-10 Cal golfer Sarah Huarte, I was positive I would have to find out what South American country she was from. Unless Placerville is in Uruguay, I had a Giles moment. Sorry, Sarah.

It's all about the confidence, Coach: Most school spring games have the first team offense play against the first team defense. But of course, Cal isn't most schools, and Jeff Tedford decided to let the first-teamers pound on the second-teamers, 42-0. Kyle Boller was 10-for-11 passing.

I don't want to rag on Kyle too much here, but 10-for-11??: This is just me, of course, but the last time I saw him that accurate, it was in NCAA GameBreaker 2002. On Freshman level.

Okay, I actually feel bad about that one: Prove me wrong, Mr. Boller, and I'll eat crow in this space every single week next season. After all, I couldn't even throw a spiral notebook.

Any time you really feel like you've accomplished something, just think: Montreal's Saku Koivu just scored seven points in a six-game series win against the Boston Bruins-with cancer. And Lance Armstrong will probably win his fourth straight Tour De France soon.

'Bubka Breaks Pole Vault Record' Award of the Week: 'Kevin Garnett, NBA's Highest Paid Player, Bounced In First Round.'

Thanking his lucky stars for Kevin Garnett: I see in my crystal ball: Chris Webber, disappearing come crunch time again.

Not Quite Joe Namath: Nine days and three close games later, Vlade Divac finally made good on his "The Jazz are done" guarantee. Well, now, the Kings are done. In six. To Dallas.

Journalists Inventinating Words Again: A story on the Royals firing their manager began, "Tony Muser, the losingest manager in Royals history . . ."

I hear Doug Johnson is looking for a job: Steve Spurrier just signed Shane Matthews to compete with Danny Wuerffel for the Washington RedGators starting quarterback job.

Cornering the Market on Woodsons: The headline-writers can thank me for that gem now that 72-year-old Rod has joined Charles in the Raiders‚ defensive backfield.

In case you were wondering what I was doing in torts class

Tuesday: (a) debating the particulars of my Kip Wells and Morgan Ensberg for Matt Morris trade and (b) wondering if I had libeled Boller.

And finally, to that nice person on the bus in the Boston College sweatshirt: Thanks for noticing I did this column and neither scoffing nor laughing at me. Thanks also, for reducing my people-who-think-I-suck-to-those-who-don't ratio to roughly 14-to-1.


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