Mo' Money

Sometimes, Right is wrong. Respond to the slander at [email protected]





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"I don't pander to them, I don't ascribe to their

failed philosophy that money is our message." - John McCain

So Dub-Yah bought the nomination like so many old white guys before him. (Governor Bush doesn't deserve for me to mention his real name here, so I'll only call him Dub-Yah.) Same old bullshit. He'll ride his name and bankroll the scandalous Clinton Administration all the way to the top.

Just because the GOP gave damn near all of their money to the rich kid doesn't mean that all Republicans should vote accordingly. Everyone knows that top officials buy, not earn, their way into office. I'm not saying that air time alone will get you a ride on Air Force One, but when we look at the average number of hours Americans watch TV, it's clear why deeper pockets mean more votes. Thirty seconds at 7:30 costs a hell of a lot. Sure, Americans will listen, as long as you don't take too long to say it. Especially if you're trash talkin'. Mudslinging long ago replaced discourse, but no one misses the latter.

It's a wonder we don't see more ads that say crazy stuff like "John McCain kicks puppies." Or "Bill Bradley hates all women." We did get close though, when Dub-Yah accused McCain of being against breast cancer research. Low blow ...

From now on, we should just have all of the candidates sit down and play a game of poker. Whoever can lie and has more money to risk will emerge victorious. Hell, since all of the soft money comes from corporations and Hollywood, why don't we just make a panel of CEOs and producers and let them run things. At least we wouldn't be fooling ourselves.

More entertaining than that might be a WWF Battle Royale, aluminum chairs and all. Then, The Rock could show up and give those fools a lesson on sovereignty with "The People's Elbow." Of course, I wouldn't want to destroy the integrity of pro wrestling by involving politicians.

The religious right is evil. It always has been. The people who take to heart the words of Falwell and Robertson are for the most part mindless. Politicians are corrupt enough without involving religion.

The Moral Majority seems less moral every day. Tobacco companies have also earned their place in the hell that their cohorts fear so much. Both of these groups have contributed to the perversion and corruption of conservative political thought. They have tainted it forever. Who ever said that to be a Republican, you have to agree on everything? Why can't the GOP have the same diversity as the Democrats?

I think that with McCain, there might have been hope for progress. And no, the notion of progress does not conflict with conservative politics. Nor should the status quo be a party agenda. McCain knows that, but I doubt that Dub-Yah feels the same way. As for Gore, I don't think he knows about anything besides keeping quiet and fund-raising.

McCain, who is all but finished with his presidential bid, has taken crap from true-blue Republicans for attempting to move the party to the left (a.k.a. farther away from bigotry and elitism). I say he's doing the right thing. Too long has the GOP been an exclusionary circle-jerk of the upper-class. Some of its ideas are good and legitimate, while others are spawned to help spoiled brats stay spoiled while trampling on the rest of our country.

McCain is honest. I wish I could say the same about Dub-Yah. He makes no pretenses. He knows that this government is fucked up. He wanted to change that. Now, the GOP is stuck with the second best horse. Since they bet on Dub-Yah to place, though, they'll get their money back and then some.

In possible match-ups for the final election McCain kicks the shit out of pretty much anyone he might run against. The race between Dub-Yah and Gore will be much closer, however. Here's the good (or bad) part: Pat Buchanan will almost definitely be running with the Reform Party. Let's try not to refer to him as Perot. The king bigot will only take votes from Dub-Yah, just like Perot did to Bush. Hence, "Big Willy" Clinton. Now, Bush's darling son will suffer the same fate as his father, this time at the hands of Clinton's "Man of Steel" VP. Not to mention that, historically, the taller candidate almost always wins in presidential elections. Look for Gore to slowly cut into Dub-Yah's lead in the polls all the way to November.

Berkeley is angry as always. Propositions 21 and 22 both passed by huge margins. I knew they would, but I still hoped that something might change for once. People are already protesting, some by pulling fire alarms. Uh, yeah ... That's really going to get the propositions repealed. Obviously, if they just voted on it, people aren't going to just wake up tomorrow morning and say, "Gee, I feel bad that I want to lock up kids and hate homosexuals." Have we all forgotten about discourse? Pulling alarms hardly qualifies. By the way, if the people responsible for the alarms are caught, they should be fined accordingly. It kills me to know that they'll probably try to bitch and mitigate their way out of a little fine. Have debates. Don't revert to vigilantism.

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