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Wednesday, Feb 18, 2004
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Issue #879 :: Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Top Headlines

Turn Your Head & Cough
There are certain life experiences so painful, so horrendous, so unconscionably cruel that one can only reason that they have been forsaken by God. Walking in on your parents having sex. Getting dumped by someone uglier than you. Being Luke Walton and trying to tie your own shoelaces. (The newbie Laker spent four years at my high school having everyone call him "Tuffy"-I can't let that kind of idiocy go un-mocked.)

Just the Two of Us
For two former Cal athletes, success is not measured by how many speeding tickets you can get out of with an Olympic medal, but rather the happiness of doing what you love for a living.

‘Shotgun Sequencing' Leads to Milestone
Imagine grinding up five enormous jigsaw puzzles, recording the tiny pieces into a computer text file, and having the computer arrange the pieces into the original puzzles. 

Berkeley Pair Weds in S.F. Gay Nuptial Rush
Jonathan Logan and his partner Kevin Woodward weren't worrying about bad luck on Friday the 13th last week.

News

Report: UC Must Preserve Space for Eligible Students
The UC system may not have to turn away thousands of eligible students next year if Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger's budget proposal passes, according to a state government report released last week.

City's Diversity Goes National Through Mural
People in Dallas, New York and Atlanta, who want to get a taste of Berkeley without travelling here will get their chance this year. The city is coming to them-in the form of a colorful 10-by-18 foot mural.

Berkeley Kicks Off Medicinal Marijuana Week
James Blair is still aching from a misstep while on a vacation in Belize.

Pioneering Novelist Blends Social Commentary With Science Fiction
Most of author Octavia Butler's novels appear in the science fiction section of bookstores, but intertwining time travel, extraterrestrials and black history is not just entertainment value.

Berkeley Pair Weds in S.F. Gay Nuptial Rush
Jonathan Logan and his partner Kevin Woodward weren't worrying about bad luck on Friday the 13th last week.

Vagina Monologues Tap Social Consciousness With Taboo
"Cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt!" the audience chanted.

News in Brief
Oakland Man Held in Downtown Bank Heist


Sports

Just the Two of Us
For two former Cal athletes, success is not measured by how many speeding tickets you can get out of with an Olympic medal, but rather the happiness of doing what you love for a living.

Bear Witness ...With Jason Kidd
When I started this column, a good friend of mine told me it would behoove me to get "ejaculated," "easy recruits," "F-you, Grant," and "Kip's" into Bear Witness in some manner.

Cardinal Stand First in the Conference and the Nation
No players inside the top-15 of the Pac-10 scoring race. A rotation that has an astounding 10 members averaging double-digit minutes per contest-and none of them clock in at over 31 minutes.

Sports in Brief
Inclement Weather Cuts Short Baseball, Softball


Opinion

Turn Your Head & Cough
There are certain life experiences so painful, so horrendous, so unconscionably cruel that one can only reason that they have been forsaken by God. Walking in on your parents having sex. Getting dumped by someone uglier than you. Being Luke Walton and trying to tie your own shoelaces. (The newbie Laker spent four years at my high school having everyone call him "Tuffy"-I can't let that kind of idiocy go un-mocked.)

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