Sex on Tuesday

Almost as Good as Xmas

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I have good news! This week marks my favorite obscure holiday-National Condom Awareness Week. If you've never heard of the word "condom," Congress approved this week just for you. For those of you familiar with the invention of the condom, you should get excited too. The next few days are your chance to load up on a year's supply of free condoms and lube. You'll never have to desperately search through your roommate's personal belongings at 2 a.m. again.

That's right. Your tuition money is finally coming to fruition. The Berkeley administration saved it for this very week, and now you'll get it all back in the form of cherry-flavored latex balloons.

Berkeley students may be proud to find out that National Condom Week started right here on our campus. In the seventies, local hippies learned the hard way that "Free Love" has its consequences. With the birth of babies to support, these beatniks were forced to wake up from their acid trips and go find middle-management jobs. To save any future Cal students from the horrors of giving into "The Man," Condom Awareness Day was created!

Actually, in truth I couldn't find any information on the history of Cal's condom awareness. "Free love wake-up call" is my best guess. What we do know for sure is that UC Berkeley launched "Condom Awareness Day" in the seventies and Congress followed at their usual brisk pace and introduced "National Condom Awareness Week" in 1992. It only took them twenty years to catch up to our crazy liberal antics.

As the Sex on Tuesday columnist, I think it's my duty to assist the planners of Condom Week in making sure you are REALLY aware of condoms. After all, condoms are like the Department of Homeland Security. They exist to defend you from evil enemies intent on taking your freedoms-namely, babies. Basically, your very livelihood depends on a scrap of rubber. So for this reason, I have compiled a list of "condom fun facts." After reading them, I think you'll agree that they totally deserve to be on the bottom of every Snapple cap.

1) Casanova fashioned condoms out of sheep intestines and called them "English raincoats." Considering all the English women he slept with, I have a feeling they weren't used for the weather

2) We don't know for sure, but condoms may have been named after Doctor Condom, a physician who gave Charles II protection for his sexual affairs. Incidentally, "Dr. Condom" is also the villain's name in the next Spiderman movie.

3) Five billion condoms fly off the shelves worldwide every year. Based on stories friends have told me, I would assume three billion of those go directly to UCSB and San Diego State.

4) Condoms are not just for sex! According to Wikipedia, here are some inventive ways you can use your next condom: New and improved water bottle. Container for smuggling cocaine. Protective casing for a microphone. One-way valve for a paramedic machine. I think Wikipedia also forgot "penis-shaped balloon animal" and "wicked rubber band weapon."

For more useful information, check out the events that the leaders of SHEP (Sexual Health Education Program) have worked very hard to put on this week. Other than just reminding you to rubber up, there are a lot of other activities. Look for workshops to teach you about safe spanking practices and "sex-kit" giveaways on Sproul!

Workshops (235 Dwinelle)

Tuesday, Feb. 10, "Pretty, Pretty Privates and Pleasure." 7:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.

Wednesday, Feb. 11, "Intro to BDSM: Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism." 7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m.

Thursday, Feb. 12, "Sex Toys and Pleasure Party." 6:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m.

Wednesday, Feb. 11 is Condom Awareness Day! Head to Upper Sproul for the festivities.

Editor's Note

Take the "Sex and Politics" survey online at dailycal.org/sex, and pick up the Sex Issue on Friday to see

the results.

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For more Snapple sex facts, e-mail Carmel at [email protected]



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