Getting in on the Act
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Category: Opinion > Columns
Even though some of us may deny it, we all have our own individual kinks and fantasies. For example, there are some people who enjoy having sex while wearing high heels, there are others who think wearing diapers is sexually attractive and there are some people who have fetishes even stranger than that. In fact, The Daily Telegraph recently reported on a man who has admitted to having sex with hundreds of cars and doesn't think there's anything strange or unusual about it. He says that he's never felt sexually attracted to men or women, yet cars have aroused him since the start of his teenage years. And if you look up "list of paraphilias" on Wikipedia, you can find a whole slew of sexual interests you may not have even known existed.
For the month of November, I will be exploring different paraphilias and fetishes-and since Halloween has just passed, it seems appropriate to start off my paraphilia series with roleplaying.
Now, you may have spent this last weekend taking people's blood pressure as a naughty nurse or perhaps handcuffing strangers to your bed in a good cop/bad cop situation, but there are some people who act out these scenarios the whole year round-sometimes even complete with scripts. If this seems strange to you, it shouldn't. I mean, come on. We've all seen those cheesy pornos with the truant schoolgirl being "disciplined" by her teacher, the innocent virgin who's seduced into having sex and the bored housewife who takes advantage of her local handyman. Roleplay is everywhere, and chances are there's at least one roleplay scenario that gets your rocks off, so to speak.
What's great about roleplay is that it allows you to let go of whatever misgivings or restrictions you may feel about yourself and take on a whole new character for a night. You can choose your limits and either be really elaborate and stay in costume and character the whole way through, or you can just wear the costume, take off the costume and get straight to business without any of the fancy script in between. Roleplay can even be as simple as some light BDSM (bondage, domination, sadism, masochism), as you garner a whip and force your partner into bed by insisting that he or she has been "very naughty."
Some people, however, prefer to be more elaborate with their roleplay, like in the case of most vampire roleplay. Now, vampires have always had the allure of being powerful, carnal creatures. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, for instance, portrayed vampires as mysterious, sexual beings, and I for one cannot resist the appeal of mysterious, sexual beings who I can have sex with for the rest of eternity. The sexual undertones of Stephenie Meyer's Twilight books and HBO's new series True Blood have also solidified the fact that, hey, vampires are sexy. And there are dozens of people around the world who want to have sex like vampires. Vampire roleplay can be as straightforward as wearing fake fangs and a black and red cape, or as intense as both partners drinking each other's blood.
Now I'm not really interested in tasting my boyfriend's blood. However, there is something about roleplay that I think can bring excitement into one's relationship. For example, one time my boyfriend and I planned on going to the same frat party separately, partying and drinking with separate groups of friends, and then "finding" each other at the end of the night as if we were strangers who had just met and embarked on a night of drunken make-out sessions and sex.
If you're interested in trying out roleplay, the most basic way to start out is to think of a sexual fantasy scenario. Do you want to be an innocent Catholic schoolgirl, a student about to meet with his or her professor or a bad cop on a power trip? Once you decide the characters you want you and your partner to fulfill, the next step to take is to find costumes for the role, because the easiest way to feel like another person is to wear something you never would. Next, you don't have to write a script out or anything, but you should have a general feel for how you want the scenario to go. Generally speaking, what you would usually decide is if you want to be dominated or be the dominator.
And from there the rest are just your kinky, little details.
Grow a pair of fangs with Kristine at [email protected]
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